Monday, June 6, 2011

An open letter to Madison (WI) about the status of our new relationship.

Dear Madison (WI),

Let me preface this by saying that I am an optimist. I'm a nice person and I'm very easy to get along with... I really am. I'm friendly as hell, just ask any of my friends. My friend Suzy would particularly have an encyclopedia's worth of stories about how insanely friendly I can be sometimes. Seriously, I drive her crazy.

Anyways, I know that we just started our relationship, but I'm already sensing a lot of love/hate from you. You're really not treating me well, which is so sad to me because I've already started to bond with you.

But Madison, where are your gas stations? In my previous relationship with Charlotte (NC), I always appreciated the abundance of gas stations she offered. Madison, what's with the lack of fuel? I know that you're an extremely biker-friendly city, but I have absolutely no interest in riding a bike. I like my car. She's been good to me for quite a few years now. As I said before, I'm a nice person, so I take care of my car and I like to give her plenty of gas to drink. How am I supposed to do this with your ridiculous lack of gas stations?

Oh Madison, where are your supermarkets? Charlotte provided me with many supermarkets, yet you seem to have so few. Yes Madison, I know you have a farmers' market, but they don't sell Chewy granola bars so I truly need a supermarket. While I love that all the Wal Marts and Targets here have a lot of food options (Charlotte needs to work on that), I sometimes like to go to a good old fashioned supermarket. I really don't think this is an unreasonable request. A girl's gotta eat.

I really feel that I could fall in love with you and stay with you forever, but I need you to start compromising with me a bit. I'm 500-900 miles away from all of my friends, I firmly believe that the elevator in my building is haunted, and my car just died (I'm pretty sure she's retaliating at you for not providing her with ample gas station options). Madison, a good relationship requires compromise and you need to help me out here. This is new for both of us. You're probably not used to East Coast girls stomping on your territory, but I'm here now and we're both going to have to live with it. Please get your shit together so that we can continue to grow as a couple.

Your new resident (aka Aviva)


  1. If you live nearish Willy Street, you just aren't close to either one. I can help you find them. :)

  2. Indeed, I live downtown and not too far from Willy Street. Any input regarding the locations of gas stations and grocery stores would be much appreciated!