I went biking. Kinda.

As I've mentioned before, I don't bike. However, I live in a city surrounded by bike enthusiasts. Two of those enthusiasts are my good friends, Scott and Elysha, who recently visited The Cargo Bike Shop and invested in a highly coveted WorkCycle Kr8 like this:

Why yes, this is a bike with a giant bucket.

Elysha has been biking around town sporting a bucket filled with two children, groceries, library books, and an assortment of other things that fit in its spacious compartment. And by "spacious compartment," I meant this: large enough to hold an adult.

So, it happened: I went on a bike ride, but I was not pedaling the bike. Instead, I sat in a bucket and Elysha pedaled me around her Near East Side neighborhood.

Always wear a helmet! 

I got in the bucket and we were ready to go:

Side view of the contraption.

And we were off! Here are videos of the ride from two perspectives:

We made it back safely!

Elysha's celebratory reaction to me riding in a bike.

Now that this has happened, it gives me a new answer to the common Madison question, "Do you bike?" Thanks to my biker friends, I can now say, "I don't bike, but I have been pedaled around in a bucket."

Unusual things I've seen in Madison: part 2 of many to come.

As promised, I am continuing my serious of photos that document unusual things seen in Madison.

Click here for my first "unusual things" post.

Sighting #3: Melvin, the world's only wacky wheeler. Spotted in Oregon, WI.

 

What can I say? Melvin is proud of his wheels, and he'd like you to call him about it.

Sighting #4: Cops on horses. Spotted at E. Washington Ave. & Milwaukee St.

My friend Elysha could not stop cracking up when the cops on horses crossed a busy, car-filled street.

Sighting #5: World Naked Bike Ride. Spotted on S. Park St.

On my way to meet friends for lunch yesterday, traffic became quite congested when the naked bikers came through. Click here for more information about the ride.

A fascinating place to live, indeed.

The closest I'll ever get to biking in Madison.

As I have mentioned previously, Madison is extremely biker-friendly. This can be quite terrifying when I'm driving at night and a darkly clothed biker with no lights or reflectors skims by the side of my car. I suppose I will get used to this some day.

After work today, I went to Capital Fitness to do some cardio. While reading Tina Fey's Bossypants and pedaling on a standard recumbent bike, I was distracted by the bike next to me. It was an Expresso interactive bike, which combines exercise, video games, and, oh yeah, dragon slaying.


After doing 20 minutes of cardio, I decided that I wanted to learn more about the mysterious Expresso, so I asked an employee at the front desk to give me a brief tutorial. She explained that while riding the bike, I could participate in a video game by shifting gears and steering with the hand controls. I figured I should try it out, so I hopped onto the bike.

This is the bike I rode. Expresso also makes upright bikes with similar functions.

Then, I learned that not only does the Expresso bike simulate outdoor biking scenarios and races, it also has a video game where I could collect coins and chase dragons in a sandy mythical pagoda land while biking. Burning calories while chasing dragons in an air conditioned environment on a Tuesday evening? Yes please.

All the dragons are creepy and eel-like, so catching them is quite fulfilling.

An interesting feature on this exercise bike is that it provides random background music. I was so glad I plugged by headphones in, because "Angel of the Morning" was the perfect soundtrack for dragon chasing. Really.

After chasing some dragons, I opted to try out one of the bike's more traditional features and try pedaling around a track. I played around with the steering and gear shifting functions and I found myself pedaling much faster than usual so that I could get a good time. I discovered that gears 9, 10, and 11 were the most useful for my trek.

Here is a sample of what the user sees while biking on the Expresso.

I slayed a few dragons and then biked a mile with back support in a faux outdoor setting while surrounded by air conditioning. And I didn't even get helmet hair. That's my kind of biking!

I refuse to buy a bike.

For those who are reading this who may be uninformed on this topic, Madison, Wisconsin LOVES bikes. They just love the bikes. They're freakin' everywhere. The city is FULL of bike shops. I swear there are more bike shops than grocery stores-- what's up with that?

People in Madison ride their bikes pretty much everywhere, and the bikers and pedestrians totally rule the downtown area. They pedal and walk whenever they want. They don't seem to give a shit about what a traffic sign may say. Anyone using any form of transportation other than a car seems to have the ultimate say in what's going on with the traffic. Car drivers like me are totally in the backseat when it comes to the downtown roads. We have no say. It's not our turf.

But here's the problem: I refuse to buy a bike. I have not ridden a bike since elementary school and I just have no interest in ever doing so again. I enjoy being comfortable in my Volvo. I really do. Also, I have a bad back and hunching over on a bike is no good. I have been a competitive figure skater for 20 years and I have truly sacrificed my body to the sport (yup, you got it, doing unnatural things to your body with the constant risk of falling on ice is in fact detrimental later in life). I truly love skating and I am willing to deal with the pain. It's a blood sport, but it's worth it. BUT... the last thing I need in my life is a bike. I'd wreck my back even more than it's already been wrecked, plus I'd be risking falling over on the pavement (trust me, I fall quite often, and it would definitely happen). I am particularly good at tripping over absolutely nothing. Imagine me on a bike... it's doomed to be dangerous.

I truly wish I had a dollar for every person who has suggested that I buy a bike. I'd be quite wealthy. And for the record, I would definitely invest that money in figure skating, not biking.